I'm really struggling right now with my faith. I've blamed God for things that He didn't do. It seems we are in yet another financial crisis, and I'm tired of it. I'm sick of the constant stress and worry of how we will pay for everything. I hate that the minute we save a little money, we have another crisis that saps it all. I hate that people keep screwing us over and leeching even more money out of us. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it! Is it ever going to end?
Yeah, I'm struggling. So today I was listening to James McDonald, a radio pastor. He's always been inspiring - but he also has a proclivity for stepping on my toes. He has a daily radio program, and I like to listen on the internet when things are quiet. Today I heard an entire series about how God is always at work in our world, regardless of our ability to "see" him working. I needed that. I needed to be reminded that God does not work on my schedule.
Then I listened to the start of another series about finances. Unusual preaching for him, but again - I needed to hear it. I look forward to listening to the rest in the morning.
I have a long way to go. Sometimes I think I am so spiritual - and then I realize I'm just fooling myself. Think I'll ever figure it out?
3 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about your frustrations. It really does seem like it is just one thing after another sometimes. I'm say an extra prayer for you and your family.
Notice that God provided for you in one small way, right when you needed it, by giving you this minister's words. It's no accident that you turned on the radio when you did and that this man just happened to be talking about the very things you're struggling with.
He's working in your life, my friend. It often takes cleansing fires to make us pure, and even though it's tough, praise Him in your storms. He's there, He's providing for you (those radio programs are just one example).
And if you've gotta vent and get angry, vent and get angry! He wants to hear those prayers to. I've learned recently that just talking to Him about ALL of it will strengthen your faith and your dependence on Him. If anyone can handle your anger (and still love you after it's all said and done) it's our Abba.
I found your blof through one of your posts on two peas. Just what I needed for today was your post. I too feel like it is just one thing after another. struggle, struggle, struggle. I know god is working in so many lives around me right now it is incredible, but isn't there another way? hahahah yea right. god laughs at me sometimes and says "Silly girl!" and I softly say back, "Yea I know.." Have a great day, and always "KEEP THE FAITH! Hugs, Cyndy
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